Bush Declares 9/12 "National Day Of Mourning" For Those Who Just Purchased 5th Gen. iPods
Washington, DC--In a recent blog posting, President Bush called for a national day of mourning on September 12th for anyone unlucky enough to have just purchased a 5th generation Apple iPod+Video days before the impending release of the kick-ass 6th gen. model this Tuesday.
"I know it seemed like this day would never arrive," said the President in his weekly blog update. "And I know many of my fellow Americans have been hanging on to their iPod Photo players and their Minis expecting that full-screen 16x9 video player to hit the shelves at any moment."
"But for some of you, the temptation was too strong. So you went out and bought a 30-gig iPod+Video player last month, hoping you would get to enjoy it for a while before the inevitable release of the new unit."
"Unfortunately for these miserable souls," continued President Bush, "the day of reckoning has arrived."
For those feeling particularly despondent or angry, the government has set up a 24-hour hotline where consumers can share their stories of buyer's remorse with a caring professional. In addition, the Secret Service will be escorting Steve Jobs to the Apple press event on Tuesday as a precautionary measure.
"I still enjoy my original video iPod," said President Bush, "and like watching those mash-ups of me rapping that Cheney gets from YouTube, though I'll admit I haven't used it much since the FBI got a hold of one of those new touch-screen jobbies for me a couple months back."
"That thing inspired me to call Steve Jobs last month to personally congratulate him for developing such a fine product for the American people. Too bad y'all have to wait 'til Tuesday to see what I mean."
"I know it seemed like this day would never arrive," said the President in his weekly blog update. "And I know many of my fellow Americans have been hanging on to their iPod Photo players and their Minis expecting that full-screen 16x9 video player to hit the shelves at any moment."
"But for some of you, the temptation was too strong. So you went out and bought a 30-gig iPod+Video player last month, hoping you would get to enjoy it for a while before the inevitable release of the new unit."
"Unfortunately for these miserable souls," continued President Bush, "the day of reckoning has arrived."
For those feeling particularly despondent or angry, the government has set up a 24-hour hotline where consumers can share their stories of buyer's remorse with a caring professional. In addition, the Secret Service will be escorting Steve Jobs to the Apple press event on Tuesday as a precautionary measure.
"I still enjoy my original video iPod," said President Bush, "and like watching those mash-ups of me rapping that Cheney gets from YouTube, though I'll admit I haven't used it much since the FBI got a hold of one of those new touch-screen jobbies for me a couple months back."
"That thing inspired me to call Steve Jobs last month to personally congratulate him for developing such a fine product for the American people. Too bad y'all have to wait 'til Tuesday to see what I mean."
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Okay, did you see what Jobs did today? Seriously!
Games and movies on the pod!
I can't keep up, man.
Posted by shayera | 2:47 PM
Funny, I can't seem to see any of the movies on my Shuffle...
Posted by Marilyn Z. Carolyn | 11:55 PM
I actually downloaded a couple tv shows to my ipod last night (they were free) and damn! the picture is good! I thought it might be cramped or way too tiny to be comfortable, but no, the picture was really great.
Posted by shayera | 10:33 AM
Must admit that my outlook on life has improved dramatically as well since they started offering episodes of "Lost In Space" for the iPod.
Posted by Marilyn Z. Carolyn | 6:43 PM