Latest Photo Of The "iPod Killer" Leaked To The Internets
A recent photo of the vicious criminal dubbed the "iPod Killer." In this single blurry image, we see the masked villain about to take out his vengeance on a "U2 Special Edition" iPod.
Redmond, WA--Early this morning, police officials announced that they have made a preliminary identification in the case of the masked marauder known only as the "iPod Killer," who has been terrorizing the local citizens of Redmond for months.
"We're pretty sure we know who is behind all of this," stated veteran police captain Mel "Mul" Muldoon. "Microsoft has been unable to develop a product to compete with the ubiquitous Apple music player, and this 'Zune' device they keep bragging about is still months away from release."
"Still, I never really expected him to take this 'iPod Killer' thing so literally..."
Police suspect that the man behind the mask is none other than William Henry Gates III, chairman of the Microsoft Corporation, and the world's richest man. "I guess he figures that if he can't beat them at their own game, then at least he is going to try to scare the crap out of anybody he sees sporting the white earbuds out in public, at least until his new product hits the market."
To date, the "iPod Killer" has disemboweled six video iPods, a few Nanos, and numerous Shuffles belonging to Redmond residents. "He just grabbed my pink Mini player and crushed it under the heel of his Bruno Magli," said homemaker Cynthia Seligman.
"He was wearing that ridiculous mask at the time, but I am pretty sure it was Gates, because he sped away in a chauffeured Lamborghini Murcielago with a personalized license plate that read El Jefe."
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