Shuttle Astronauts "Freaking Out" Over Upcoming Launch
Cape Canaveral, FL--For the second time in as many days, the pending flight of the Space Shuttle Discovery has been scrubbed due to what NASA describes as "poor atmospheric conditions." However, sources in the field report the real reason for the delay is that the astronauts are totally freaked about their upcoming mission.
"I was just a kid when the Challenger bit it, but I remember it like it was yesterday," said Mission Commander Albert "Buzz" Elgin. "NASA keeps assuring us that they fixed the problem with the O-rings, but there are like a billion other things that can go wrong with that heap that they haven't even thought of yet."
"Tell me about it," said Payload Specialist Elizabeth West. "I just read that article in Wired that estimates our chances of dying at 1 out of 100. Hard to remain positive and upbeat when you are facing those kind of odds, isn't it?"
The five original Space Shuttles built by NASA have logged 114 missions thus far. Out of the original five, two of them, the Columbia and the Challenger have already self-destructed, taking the lives of 14 astronauts with them as well.
Additionally, should anything happen to the current crew while out in space, their only hope for rescue is the aging Space Shuttle Atlantis, which has not flown since the end of 2002, and is scheduled to be scrapped for parts within two years.
"If they are expecting the Atlantis to just blast off into space at a moment's notice and scoop us up out there, I think they are in for a rude awakening," said Commander Elgin. "It could take weeks to find a crew crazy enough to come up there after us."
"I'm bringing a couple extra jars of Tang along for the ride just in case," added Elgin. "And a parachute."
"I was just a kid when the Challenger bit it, but I remember it like it was yesterday," said Mission Commander Albert "Buzz" Elgin. "NASA keeps assuring us that they fixed the problem with the O-rings, but there are like a billion other things that can go wrong with that heap that they haven't even thought of yet."
"Tell me about it," said Payload Specialist Elizabeth West. "I just read that article in Wired that estimates our chances of dying at 1 out of 100. Hard to remain positive and upbeat when you are facing those kind of odds, isn't it?"
The five original Space Shuttles built by NASA have logged 114 missions thus far. Out of the original five, two of them, the Columbia and the Challenger have already self-destructed, taking the lives of 14 astronauts with them as well.
Additionally, should anything happen to the current crew while out in space, their only hope for rescue is the aging Space Shuttle Atlantis, which has not flown since the end of 2002, and is scheduled to be scrapped for parts within two years.
"If they are expecting the Atlantis to just blast off into space at a moment's notice and scoop us up out there, I think they are in for a rude awakening," said Commander Elgin. "It could take weeks to find a crew crazy enough to come up there after us."
"I'm bringing a couple extra jars of Tang along for the ride just in case," added Elgin. "And a parachute."
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