North Korea Calls July 4th Missile Test "An Unqualified Success"
Pyongyang, North Korea--A spokesperson for the Worldwide Official Rocket Ministry of North Korea (WORM) called last Tuesday's suprise launch of six ICBM missiles from a previously-unknown base an "unqualified success."
Kim Mah-Jong Ill-Wind, speaking in a recent press conference, confirmed that all of these rockets were pointed at US-based targets, including the Space Shuttle, The White House, and Dollywood.
The missle fired to coincide with the launch of the Space Shuttle Discovery came within 1,680 nautical miles of hitting the spacecraft. "We are proud of our efforts yesterday, and have assured our great leader that the next rocket will actually clear our beaches and at least land in the ocean," said spokesperson Ill-Wind.
One of the missiles fired off yesterday stayed aloft for 41 seconds, before exploding in mid-air directly over Pyongyang, sending shrapnel raining down on a crowded public park and a schoolyard.
"Take that, America! Next time, we expect our Taepodong 2 rocket to stay in the air for a full minute," boasted Ill-Wind. "Bet that has you all running scared."
Washington was unavailable for comment, as they were too busy laughing their asses off.
Kim Mah-Jong Ill-Wind, speaking in a recent press conference, confirmed that all of these rockets were pointed at US-based targets, including the Space Shuttle, The White House, and Dollywood.
The missle fired to coincide with the launch of the Space Shuttle Discovery came within 1,680 nautical miles of hitting the spacecraft. "We are proud of our efforts yesterday, and have assured our great leader that the next rocket will actually clear our beaches and at least land in the ocean," said spokesperson Ill-Wind.
One of the missiles fired off yesterday stayed aloft for 41 seconds, before exploding in mid-air directly over Pyongyang, sending shrapnel raining down on a crowded public park and a schoolyard.
"Take that, America! Next time, we expect our Taepodong 2 rocket to stay in the air for a full minute," boasted Ill-Wind. "Bet that has you all running scared."
Washington was unavailable for comment, as they were too busy laughing their asses off.
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