Apple Introduces New iPod Uno Model
Cupertino, CA--In a surprise weekend press release, Apple has announced that the latest addition to their ever-expanding line of iPod mp3 players will hit stores this Tuesday.
Dubbed the iPod Uno, this miniscule music machine retails for $49, and only has the ability to hold "one, maybe two songs," according to Apple CEO Steve Jobs. "Truth is, we had a bunch of unused 10 megabyte flash memory chips left over from the Newton project, and needed to stick 'em somewhere."
The Uno model, which looks like a castrated iPod Shuffle, shares the controls of that popular player, but not the battery capacity.
"We ran out of room after using those old chips, so we are running this puppy on a single Ray-O-Vac hearing aid battery," said Jobs. "I guess you'll get about forty-five minutes or an hour tops out of it, if you don't turn it up too loud."
When Jobs was pressed on the usefulness of this product, he said that he really didn't see much use for it, personally. "They are pretty small, so I guess you can buy a couple of them if you want some song variety. Hell, I have so much money now, I could care less what we put out at this point! Waitress...where is my goddamn Mojito?"
Dubbed the iPod Uno, this miniscule music machine retails for $49, and only has the ability to hold "one, maybe two songs," according to Apple CEO Steve Jobs. "Truth is, we had a bunch of unused 10 megabyte flash memory chips left over from the Newton project, and needed to stick 'em somewhere."
The Uno model, which looks like a castrated iPod Shuffle, shares the controls of that popular player, but not the battery capacity.
"We ran out of room after using those old chips, so we are running this puppy on a single Ray-O-Vac hearing aid battery," said Jobs. "I guess you'll get about forty-five minutes or an hour tops out of it, if you don't turn it up too loud."
When Jobs was pressed on the usefulness of this product, he said that he really didn't see much use for it, personally. "They are pretty small, so I guess you can buy a couple of them if you want some song variety. Hell, I have so much money now, I could care less what we put out at this point! Waitress...where is my goddamn Mojito?"
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